Then let me clue you in on what happened this morning on "Divorce Court."
Judge Lynn Toler presides over this one, and I watched it only briefly, while eating my breakfast, but this particular show was a doosey.
I couldn't stand to watch the entire thing but here's what happened in the beginning, and I think you'll get the picture:
A man and wife are getting divorced, so they appear in front of the judge. The woman is explaining a chart she's made for her case that he be required to pay her $400 a month in support. Included on the chart are the following items:
Do the dishes three times a day: $25
Mop the floors three times a day: $25
Cook three HOMEMADE meals daily: $45
Take care of the kids (They have six.): $30
Now, understand that she's saying she wants her soon-to-be ex to pay her, and that these numbers represent a MONTHLY figure that would total only $400. With numbers so low, you can imagine the length of this list.
The kicker for me was this one: She mows the lawn once a week and asked for a whopping $40. The judge asked her why so much for that job when she's only asking for about half that to do the dishes and mop the floors, both three-times-DAILY chores. "It's a man's job," she told the judge, matter-of-factly.
I literally gasped out loud when I heard that reply.
It's sad to see what messages she's been given...that her own skills and contributions are worth so little, and that a man's job should pay more.
But there is so much more that is wrong with this scenario, and the way the judge responded to her--just with voice inflection alone--you could tell Judge Toler wanted to teach this woman a better way to rate herself. But this woman's perspective is just so skewed it's scary.
This list of chores, we find out, when the husband speaks, comes from a list he gave her prior to their marriage. So, had her Killer instincts been turned on, this woman might have turned around and run the other way before marrying the man. But it's clear that she wasn't in tune with her real worth, not at all. Clearly, this woman has learned to accept very little and to not know her true value as a human being, let alone as a wife and a mother of six. It just makes you want to shake some sense into her head. It makes you wonder what her own mother put up with in her homelife. And you can probably imagine.
And then we learn a little more about the husband. He makes $1800 a month. He wants to have 12 kids. And he'll take his wife out, alright, "when I know she's being good." This is what he actually tells the judge and the whole viewing audience. You can tell he's absolutely serious.
Um, thanks, but no thanks.
He then goes on a tirade about the time she had the nerve to serve him a Hot Pocket for dinner. "I expect homecooked meals when I get home from work," he says. Not only that, but he expects her to run his bath, too!
Omigod! 'Nuff said.
Before I turned the TV off, I heard the judge ask the woman, "Now, he wants all of this, but what does he do for you?"
"Besides get on my nerves?" she quipped, "Well, we're both the same sign. We're both Gemini."
They're the same sign. That's it. That's what she gets out of the marriage. No dates. No haircuts. No flowers. No nothing. Because they're the same sign? What's that phrase, "like attracts like"?
UNbelieveable.
Of course, this is an extreme example of what happens when you low ball your value. You really do get what you ask for--in your personal and professional life--and you really are worth only what you think you are. That means you gotta think highly of yourself. Work hard at NOT letting the messages from the past get in the way of your success today. And remember that the numbers you attach to yourself mean something. Make sure you are in control of the definition....
AND if like is going to attract like in your life, ignite a positive match. Don't you agree?
All my best,
Jackie
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Yoga balls, massage and other forms of cleansing
I've been experimenting with various forms of body cleansing lately--and, no, I'm not talking about bathing. I'm talking about clearing out the negative energy from the body. Life, in general, deals us a lot of "stuff" to figure out on a daily basis. Some of it, as you may already know, is more difficult than others. Some of what we have to deal with isn't something that can be handled in a day. For the lingering challenges in our life, we need ways to cope. I'm finding that cleansing the body of mental stress, worries and fatigue is imperative to a healthy overall existance. And I like the idea of cleansing out the negative energy.
My first exposure to this concept--and that of an energy balance AND the belief that it even existed--happened on a trip a few years ago to Sedona. Since then, when I learned that I may have blockages, I've let my mind be open to the possibility, no matter how sad it sounds. I'm blocked? It sounds unhealthy.
Guess what? It is.
So I've been reading and learning more about the seven energy spots in the body, called chakras. And I've purchased some yoga CDs to learn some yoga moves. I was recently given a package of yoga cards so I could explore this further. And just this week, I purchased two CDs--one has to do with Qigong and the other involves yoga balls. Both are used to cleanse the body of toxins and that nasty old negative energy.
Click on the links above if you want to begin learning more about this for yourself. But know that this form of self-nurturing that I've been doing has been so stress releasing. I'm learning how to breathe properly, how to stretch for full benefit, that you can literally push negative energy right out of your body, and that rolling around the floor on little balls can give you a really good massage. At the same time, this is all improving my circulation and digestion.
If you already believe in using yoga and other forms of spiritual cleansing, what's your preference? Post a comment and share your thoughts.
All my best,
Jackie
My first exposure to this concept--and that of an energy balance AND the belief that it even existed--happened on a trip a few years ago to Sedona. Since then, when I learned that I may have blockages, I've let my mind be open to the possibility, no matter how sad it sounds. I'm blocked? It sounds unhealthy.
Guess what? It is.
So I've been reading and learning more about the seven energy spots in the body, called chakras. And I've purchased some yoga CDs to learn some yoga moves. I was recently given a package of yoga cards so I could explore this further. And just this week, I purchased two CDs--one has to do with Qigong and the other involves yoga balls. Both are used to cleanse the body of toxins and that nasty old negative energy.
Click on the links above if you want to begin learning more about this for yourself. But know that this form of self-nurturing that I've been doing has been so stress releasing. I'm learning how to breathe properly, how to stretch for full benefit, that you can literally push negative energy right out of your body, and that rolling around the floor on little balls can give you a really good massage. At the same time, this is all improving my circulation and digestion.
If you already believe in using yoga and other forms of spiritual cleansing, what's your preference? Post a comment and share your thoughts.
All my best,
Jackie
Sunday, August 3, 2008
The benefits of a bamboo bike
At Traveling The Green Way , a partner blog to my travel blog with b5media, Liz Lewis from New Zealand writes about Craig Calfee and his bamboo bike project.
Craig, it seems, traveled to Ghana, West Africa to help bring bamboo bike transportation to the people. These bikes, reinforced with bamboo, can help people earn more money. For one thing, the extra strength allows a man to transport two sacks of 110-lb cement to and from a work site. And because they all work together as a team to build the bikes, the project brings a sense of community to the people in the village as well. You can see the excitement of those who are participating in the video. And Craig knows he's helping.
It's a good idea. It's another reason bikes can benefit a life; however, as I posted in my comment at this blog, the only issue I have with the project is that it doesn't benefit women. You'll see in the videos posted on this blog that women are not in the picture. There are no women helping build the bikes. There are no women riding them. When I was in Kenya two summers ago, I was told women don't own bikes because they cannot afford them. So, my question to Craig is then: will your program ever help women? They need transportation as well. They have to carry heavy items as well when they go to market. They could use a bamboo bike.
I think I'll e-mail him and ask this question directly.
Still, I do think this is a great idea.
See for yourself by clicking on the videos here.
All my best,
Jackie
Craig, it seems, traveled to Ghana, West Africa to help bring bamboo bike transportation to the people. These bikes, reinforced with bamboo, can help people earn more money. For one thing, the extra strength allows a man to transport two sacks of 110-lb cement to and from a work site. And because they all work together as a team to build the bikes, the project brings a sense of community to the people in the village as well. You can see the excitement of those who are participating in the video. And Craig knows he's helping.
It's a good idea. It's another reason bikes can benefit a life; however, as I posted in my comment at this blog, the only issue I have with the project is that it doesn't benefit women. You'll see in the videos posted on this blog that women are not in the picture. There are no women helping build the bikes. There are no women riding them. When I was in Kenya two summers ago, I was told women don't own bikes because they cannot afford them. So, my question to Craig is then: will your program ever help women? They need transportation as well. They have to carry heavy items as well when they go to market. They could use a bamboo bike.
I think I'll e-mail him and ask this question directly.
Still, I do think this is a great idea.
See for yourself by clicking on the videos here.
All my best,
Jackie
Friday, August 1, 2008
The truth about suicide
Last night, I attended the memorial for my friend Micki. It's been more than a month now that my friend, who was in deep mental anguish, shot herself. Her daughter planned and organized a very special memorial--with video footage and heartfelt words--with the help of at least a dozen of her own friends. And it was the most amazing service I've ever seen.
It reminded me of a trip I took not long ago to tour the historic inn in Winslow, Ariz., called La Posada. The new owners, who are refurbishing the place and rebuilding it to its original concept, are artists. But they're also adding their artistic flair to the decor. Included in that flair is a mural-sized painting by one of the owners, Tina Mion, that hangs inside the ballroom. Called, “A New Years Eve Party in Purgatory for Suicides," the subject of the painting is obvious. Everyone painted in the scene have killed themselves in one way or another. And they are all seated at tables. There are famous people, celebrities, and friends of the artist. I wish I had more details, but I don't recall the artist's exact words as she was relating the story behind the painting, which could be considered rather macabre. It doesn't have to be. It's really quite fascinating, and its impact is huge. It really makes you think. As the artist herself was explaining the reason behind the large painting and why it was hanging so visibly in the ballroom of the hotel, she said her reasons had to do with the fact that people do not discuss suicide. They ignore it. They pretend it doesn't exist. People can hardly say the word out loud. Mion's painting suggests suicide needs to be discussed, that though it may never fully be understood, healing still needs to occur. For that to happen, suicide needs to be spoken about. So the painting was there to make that statement. It's a powerful statement. And I've remembered it.
I didn't think I'd need it, though.
Not till my friend committed suicide.
At her memorial, when Kristin began to speak about Micki and share her mother's pain--in all it's ugliness--she did not stop short at the word. She stated it matter-of-factly, "My mother killed herself." She shared with us her own pain in trying to accept this fact. She shared with us her fear, her anger, her many other facets of feeling as she's been learning how to cope with the magnitude of the reason behind her mother's death. She even said she's wondered if she could have stopped the suicide. And then she let us know she didn't believe she could have. She knew she didn't have that kind of power. And she cried.
We cried, too.
Surprisingly enough, no one seemed to recoil at this young girl's brave words. What I felt was positive energy. In that room, I could feel the urges to jump up there and hug this young woman who is so clearly in pain herself.
I have never been so moved.
I ask you, my readers, to pray for Kristin as she steps forward in this new life without the only parent she ever knew. I ask you to pray for her continued strength, and that you ask that she also find relief from that strength. I ask that you pray for her in all ways you think someone in her place can use the assistance. And I ask you to not be afraid to speak of suicide if it should happen to anyone you know in your life.
The truth about suicide is that it's painful, it's ugly, it's raw. The truth about suicide is that it's whatever you think it is. And further, the truth is that we may not be able to stop it, but we can certainly work at trying. Ignoring it won't make it go away. Pretending it doesn't exist won't make it stop. But allowing those who are experiencing suicide, as ones who are left behind, to speak about it freely and candidly will help them heal. Let us all be a part of that healing.
All my best,
Jackie
It reminded me of a trip I took not long ago to tour the historic inn in Winslow, Ariz., called La Posada. The new owners, who are refurbishing the place and rebuilding it to its original concept, are artists. But they're also adding their artistic flair to the decor. Included in that flair is a mural-sized painting by one of the owners, Tina Mion, that hangs inside the ballroom. Called, “A New Years Eve Party in Purgatory for Suicides," the subject of the painting is obvious. Everyone painted in the scene have killed themselves in one way or another. And they are all seated at tables. There are famous people, celebrities, and friends of the artist. I wish I had more details, but I don't recall the artist's exact words as she was relating the story behind the painting, which could be considered rather macabre. It doesn't have to be. It's really quite fascinating, and its impact is huge. It really makes you think. As the artist herself was explaining the reason behind the large painting and why it was hanging so visibly in the ballroom of the hotel, she said her reasons had to do with the fact that people do not discuss suicide. They ignore it. They pretend it doesn't exist. People can hardly say the word out loud. Mion's painting suggests suicide needs to be discussed, that though it may never fully be understood, healing still needs to occur. For that to happen, suicide needs to be spoken about. So the painting was there to make that statement. It's a powerful statement. And I've remembered it.
I didn't think I'd need it, though.
Not till my friend committed suicide.
At her memorial, when Kristin began to speak about Micki and share her mother's pain--in all it's ugliness--she did not stop short at the word. She stated it matter-of-factly, "My mother killed herself." She shared with us her own pain in trying to accept this fact. She shared with us her fear, her anger, her many other facets of feeling as she's been learning how to cope with the magnitude of the reason behind her mother's death. She even said she's wondered if she could have stopped the suicide. And then she let us know she didn't believe she could have. She knew she didn't have that kind of power. And she cried.
We cried, too.
Surprisingly enough, no one seemed to recoil at this young girl's brave words. What I felt was positive energy. In that room, I could feel the urges to jump up there and hug this young woman who is so clearly in pain herself.
I have never been so moved.
I ask you, my readers, to pray for Kristin as she steps forward in this new life without the only parent she ever knew. I ask you to pray for her continued strength, and that you ask that she also find relief from that strength. I ask that you pray for her in all ways you think someone in her place can use the assistance. And I ask you to not be afraid to speak of suicide if it should happen to anyone you know in your life.
The truth about suicide is that it's painful, it's ugly, it's raw. The truth about suicide is that it's whatever you think it is. And further, the truth is that we may not be able to stop it, but we can certainly work at trying. Ignoring it won't make it go away. Pretending it doesn't exist won't make it stop. But allowing those who are experiencing suicide, as ones who are left behind, to speak about it freely and candidly will help them heal. Let us all be a part of that healing.
All my best,
Jackie
Thursday, July 31, 2008
A blogathon update
For this group of speakers listed below, the Blogathon has officially ended. If you're visiting me today and would like to check out what the group as a whole as been up to, then the final list of participants is here along with blog addresses. We're all from the Greater Phoenix area. We all signed up to agree to try blogging once a day for the month of July.
While we may not have hit that number exactly (31), all of us gained a greater understanding of what the blogging experience and blogging world is all about. We learned new skills, such as how to Stumble--even if we all aren't doing it yet (including me). We saw benefits we didn't know exisited (We could be asked to contribute to a book. We could find new places to publish our posts. We could explore information we never knew existed.) And we've grown as friends, which I like to think is the better part of the whole experience.
As for me, personally, I gained insight into what works and what might not. I think that'll be an on-going lesson. And I've continued to see the benefit of regular posting and finding new blogs that touch on my themes: travel and self-help. There's a larger world out there that I intend to exlpore further as I move my two blogs forward.
I hope you'll continue to visit mine and my friends' blogs. If we have something to say that really resonates with you, I hope you'll post a comment and let us know how to find you. Together, we can build a stronger community of people who want to help others. I know that's the key component of all the members on this team listed below. We're coaches, motivational speakers, business developers, team leaders, healthy living advisors, designers, authors, movers, shakers and so much more.
Even if you just happened to "stumble upon" my blog today, take a look at the list below. There might be something here that interests you. If so, let us know:
Jackie Dishner
http://bikewithjackie.blogspot.com/
http://www.thephoenixtraveler.com/
Susan Ratliff
http://www.blingmybooth.com/
Andrea Beaulieu
http://www.conspiracyoflove.net/
Mimi Meredith
http://blog.thegoodnessgrows.com/
Suzy Graven
http://articles.secretsofthesavvywoman.com/
Beth Terry
http://www.corporatecowgirl.com/
Vickie Mullins
http://www.mullinscreative.blogspot.com/
Michelle May
http://blogs.eastvalleytribune.com/consumed/
Arlene Rosenberg
http://www.leadingachievers.com/
Stanley Bronstein
http://stanleybronstein.com/
Stephanie Angelo
http://hressential.com/wordpress
Quinn McDonald
http://quinncreative.wordpress.com/
Barbara McNichol
http://www.nonfictioneditor.wordpress.com/
Suzanne Holman
http://www.lessonsforyourmilliondollarlife.com/
Jean McFarland
http://bulliesamongus.blogspot.com/
Bonnie Mattick
www.YourBusinessDetective.com
While we may not have hit that number exactly (31), all of us gained a greater understanding of what the blogging experience and blogging world is all about. We learned new skills, such as how to Stumble--even if we all aren't doing it yet (including me). We saw benefits we didn't know exisited (We could be asked to contribute to a book. We could find new places to publish our posts. We could explore information we never knew existed.) And we've grown as friends, which I like to think is the better part of the whole experience.
As for me, personally, I gained insight into what works and what might not. I think that'll be an on-going lesson. And I've continued to see the benefit of regular posting and finding new blogs that touch on my themes: travel and self-help. There's a larger world out there that I intend to exlpore further as I move my two blogs forward.
I hope you'll continue to visit mine and my friends' blogs. If we have something to say that really resonates with you, I hope you'll post a comment and let us know how to find you. Together, we can build a stronger community of people who want to help others. I know that's the key component of all the members on this team listed below. We're coaches, motivational speakers, business developers, team leaders, healthy living advisors, designers, authors, movers, shakers and so much more.
Even if you just happened to "stumble upon" my blog today, take a look at the list below. There might be something here that interests you. If so, let us know:
Jackie Dishner
http://bikewithjackie.blogspot.com/
http://www.thephoenixtraveler.com/
Susan Ratliff
http://www.blingmybooth.com/
Andrea Beaulieu
http://www.conspiracyoflove.net/
Mimi Meredith
http://blog.thegoodnessgrows.com/
Suzy Graven
http://articles.secretsofthesavvywoman.com/
Beth Terry
http://www.corporatecowgirl.com/
Vickie Mullins
http://www.mullinscreative.blogspot.com/
Michelle May
http://blogs.eastvalleytribune.com/consumed/
Arlene Rosenberg
http://www.leadingachievers.com/
Stanley Bronstein
http://stanleybronstein.com/
Stephanie Angelo
http://hressential.com/wordpress
Quinn McDonald
http://quinncreative.wordpress.com/
Barbara McNichol
http://www.nonfictioneditor.wordpress.com/
Suzanne Holman
http://www.lessonsforyourmilliondollarlife.com/
Jean McFarland
http://bulliesamongus.blogspot.com/
Bonnie Mattick
www.YourBusinessDetective.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)