Anger and Aggression

Everyone is subjected to anger and aggression in different scenarios. This is a simple fact of life. The key is learning how to control the anger rather than letting it get out of control and ultimately control you. Anger management skills are required by all of us nowadays and we have to accept that there are problems lying underneath the anger, which we often ignore. These are the real issues, which should be addressed in order to manage our anger.

The problems, which we face throughout our lives, accumulate in our minds as frustrations and can make a person very edgy. When we are in this frame of mind we can abruptly turn on anyone, without a reason. So the major issue is that there are frustrations that make a person go ballistic and such frustrations have to be be managed in a appropriate manner. Anger management techniques are essential in preventing this type of outburst by addressing the underlying issues.

Anger is directly linked to positive or negative attitudes. Most people are prone to the latter, which is totally destructive.Positive anger is a bit more difficult, but not impossible to achieve, because with positive anger, you can find solutions to your problems in a cool and level-headed manner. This is the best form of anger management.

You can learn a lot of anger management techniques by undergoing anger management counselling which will assist in turning your negative anger into positive anger. We should not lose our cool during any situation and should use all the anger management techniques,methods and tools we have at our disposal to help solve our problems.

For example,if you have a fight with your best friend, you get a feeling deep inside that something has gone wrong and you are in danger of losing your best friend. This can be a source of frustration for you and what you must do is talk to your friend about the problem you are both experiencing and resolve it. Remember, good friends are hard to find.

Another real life example is when you find out that someone is spreading negative rumors about you, like you drink, or you use drugs, or you are stealing money from home. Obviously anyone will get angry in such a situation, but you cannot go to that person spreading the rumors and just hit or assault them which quite often anger outbursts can prompt you to do.

The best way to solve this type of problem is to go to the person or call them and ask in an assertive manner what his/her problem is and why he/she is spreading such bad and untrue rumors about you. He/she will probably deny doing these things but irrespective of any denials you need to tell them in a more assertive manner that you are aware that this has been going on for a while and you will not tolerate it anymore and he/she should stop immediately.

Above all it is important to remain calm throughout the exchange and not let your anger show. This is of paramount importance .Outbursts of anger in this type of situation are only likely to make matters worse, rather than lead to a reasonable conclusion. They will come up with the truth eventually and usually apologize.

Assertiveness is a positive form of anger management that needs to be practiced.

One of the best ways, recommended by many anger management teachers, to solve problems of any kind is never ever do anything out of anger as this is very likely to cause more harm. Always approach problems in a calm and controlled manner, or walk away until you have managed to calm down.

The best anger management tip is to stop and think before acting out your aggression.

Article written by Norman Holden editor and owner of http://www.AngerManagementNow.com a website about Anger and Aggression.

Visit his website on a regular basis for up-to-date news and help.