The Keys To Good Communication

Clear communication is a key factor to a happy and fulfilling life. How well you communicate will determine the quality of all of your relationships, therefore determining the overall quality of your life.

The reason why most people have unsatisfactory results in their life, is because they have poor communication skills. People get frustrated when they don't get what they want,and often times don't realize it is because they did not communicate clearly, what it is they wanted.

Poor results come from poor communication, not only in personal communication, but also in metaphysical communication. Many times people do not get exactly what they want in life because their communication to the Universe or the Higher Power and to themselves is unclear.

You must be very clear on exactly what it is you want when communicating with another person, The Universe, or yourself.

I know you may be thinking, what do I mean with yourself. A lot of times we are wishy washy with what we want. We tell ourselves "I kind of want this,but I also kind of want that." or "I guess that would be alright.". We need to be very specific with ourselves of exactly what it is we want. We cannot express clearly, to someone else, what we want if we are unclear, about what we want, ourselves.

First we will discuss how to communicate with your Higher Power to get what you want, then we will discuss how to communicate with other people. I am using the term "Higher Power" or "Universe" because I do not want to offend any one's religious beliefs. You can replace the term Higher Power with God or whatever name you believe the creative source to be called. The principles for communication will be the same.

To manifest what you want in life, from a metaphysical standpoint, I would highly encourage you to sit quietly with a pen and paper, and write exactly what it is that you want to create in your life. Write what you want in great detail. The more detailed you are, the better. Remember, this is about being extremely clear about what it is that you want.

After you have written what it is that you want, I would highly suggest that you read what you wrote one to three times a day out loud. This will benefit you in two ways. First, it will help your mind get extremely clear and focused on exactly what you want. Your mind being clear will help you stay focused, take proper action and communicate to others in a more clear, concise and effective manner. The second benefit is, the two most powerful ways to communicate with the Universe, to manifest, is through writing and speaking. Writing creates the most energy, with speaking creating the second most energy. Writing and speaking to the Universe are your two most powerful ways to create what you want.

Now let's talk about our everyday communication with other people. There are many elements that go into positive effective communication. There is verbal and nonverbal communication.

The words that we use only make up 7% of our communication. The other 93% is voice tone and body language. What that means is, before you have even said a word, you have already said a lot.

It is very important to practice paying attention to your body language and voice tone. It is important to be aware of your voice tone, when you speak. Have you ever had someone ask you for something in a whiny sounding voice; or how about in a very demanding tone of voice? Think back to when someone has approached you with either of these voice tones. Did you really want to give them what they were asking for? Probably not, you were probably pretty turned off by their approach. Having a friendly confident tone can be very effective.

Body language is huge! So many people are giving the wrong signals and they don't even realize it. Your words and voice tone may be saying one thing, but your body is saying something very different. The non verbal speaks louder than the verbal, always. The person that you are communicating with will most often not even realize that they are being effected by your body language, however they are, it happens on a subconscious level.

Pay attention to your body language. First of all make sure you are standing up straight with your shoulders back. Good posture communicates confidence. Confidence is attractive to everyone. You are much more likely to have someone say yes to you, when you exude self confidence, than if you do not. Another tip is to avoid standing with your arms folded in front of you. Arms folded communicates that you are stand offish and blocking the other person from getting through to you. It also communicates disinterest.

Eye contact is so important, because of so many reasons. I will just cover a few reasons here. For one thing, it shows strong self confidence. It also allows you to have a strong connection with the person you are communicating with. A lot of people do not trust a person that avoids eye contact and building trust is the number one component to effective communication. Eye contact can be hard for some people. If you are someone who has difficulty with maintaining eye contact, begin practicing now. It begins with awareness, then practice, then mastery. One of the most important skills that you can practice and master is maintaining good eye contact.

Next comes the words that we use. Even though words are only 7% of our communication, they are still extremely important and require conscious awareness to use them effectively. There is so much to cover, when it comes to the words we use. I will share some resources for you to study on your own, that will help you with everything that we just covered. First let's cover what I believe to be one of the most important things to be aware of when it comes to the words you use.

Most people's main focus when they communicate is on themselves. They use the word "I" over and over again. Understanding that most people's main interest is themselves can be a very valuable tool for you. One of your greatest tools to be a great communicator is to stop using the word "I", "Me" and "My" so often and start using the word "You", "Your" and "Yours" much more often. People love to talk about themselves, and if you let them do it, you will be their most favorite person in the whole world, because most of the people they talk to are talking about themselves most of the time.

Another important thing to realize is that people love the sound of their own name. Use a persons name often during a conversation with them. They will be putty in your hands.

Remember, God gave us two ears and one mouth so talk less and listen more. And really listen, a lot of times when another person is speaking we are caught up in our head thinking about how we are going to respond or just waiting for our turn to speak. Listen with you complete focus and attention on what they are saying then trust that you will be able to respond organically. The best communicators are the best listeners, not the best talkers.

To really master these skills and take your communication to a whole new level, I would highly recommend that you begin to study NLP. NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. By mastering NLP, you will become a master of influence. NLP will cover the best way to use your words, how to build powerful rapport, how to read other people and so much more.

Here are a couple of tips on how to build powerful rapport. Match the speaking style of the person you are talking with, whether it is in person or over the phone. It is a good idea to match the voice tone and speaking speed of the person that you are talking to.

Another powerful tool is to mirror the body language of the person you are communicating with. Don't mimic them, just subtly mirror them. When you do this you are sending them a subliminal message that you are just like them.

Remember, no matter where your communication skills currently are, you can always be better. To be a better communicator it just takes self awareness, the desire to be better and practice.

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Ryan Pearson is available for one on one Life Coaching. Go to:
http://www.lifecoachryan.com